Mens Talk

Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Don't want to remarry but children need a mother


Don't want to remarry but children need a mother

This time the story of the man who appeared with the title Don't want to remarry but children need a mother.


Hello admin, I want to ask the opinion of readers and admins, more or less my fate is like this: my wife passed while giving birth to my daughter who is now 7 years old and I am not married again, because I love my wife with all my soul.

The story is, after marriage my wife suffered from Vaginismus, so my wife and I temporarily refrained from doing what couples usually do.

2 years after my wife's journey with Vaginismus, I still remember, we were very excited but confused about what to do, because it was not as easy as it seems in movies or videos to do what couples usually do, and I remember that as an experience which is funny, precious and sad to me.

After 5 months trying to do that and it worked, then my wife got pregnant, and I was so moved, I cried, my wife was crying too, crying happily.

Starting a long arduous journey while raising a fetus, my wife likes to cry alone, looks confused, panicked and sensitive, but that's all normal, I was so supportive of her pregnancy that I applied for a lot of work leave. Then I bathe my wife, feed her, take care of the house, etc. And I do it with pleasure.

And my wife said she always smells rotten, all food feels nauseous to her, she also always looks sad, then often has stomachaches, backaches, etc. When examined, it turned out that my wife's blood was very bad, and my wife's body grew cysts in the uterus during pregnancy (gynecologists say this is rare), which resulted in swelling.

And at 7 months pregnant, my wife's spine shifted, she likes to scream in pain when she wakes up, or in an upright position, and bends down, so I can also see and it's as if I feel my wife's pain, I am always on standby, until I give CCTV which is connected to my laptop when I go to work.

And at the age of 8 months the doctor asked me to agree to my wife giving birth by caesarean section to reduce the risk to the wife.

A week before giving birth, my wife fell in the room, and immediately fainted, I immediately came home from work, because I saw my wife fell and did not get up again, on CCTV.

On time on the way to the maternity hospital my wife had no heartbeat, I panicked and cried, and my wife immediately underwent a C-section when she arrived at the hospital.

My daughter survived, with premature birth, and my wife passed, I cried hysterically at that time, and I remember very well, that time I almost suicide in front of my wife's corpse, but my in-laws immediately told me to hug my newborn daughter who was crying with thirst.

I immediately contemplated and wiped my tears, I apologize to my wife for not being a good husband, but I promise to be a good father to my daughter.

After so many years of being a single parent, this is the first time my daughter has said: "Dad, is having a mother fun? maybe if there was, she could accompany me to watch barbie or choose barbie clothes together", I couldn't help but be silent, and pensive, and in my heart said: if my wife is still in this world.

All this time I went to work, I left my children in daycare, because I no longer had parents and my in-laws were also very old, so I couldn't bear to bother them.

After work I pick up my daughter, and shop for dinner, while I cook, my daughter immediately turns on the television watching Barbie, after dinner, we play for a while and sleep.

I was so busy with work and taking care of my daughter that my in-laws said it would be better if I remarried, but I didn't want to. My daughter also started wanting a mother figure, but I still love my wife.

What do readers and admins think? Should I remarry? even though I myself do not want to leave the figure of my wife and I intend to be a widower forever, is it wrong if I am like that?

Little information, my daughter has heart disease, and her heart is always weak, even the doctor said my daughter will not survive until she is 14 years old. I am very sad, I am afraid that my daughter will not be happy.

Admin Opinion

Hello friends, first of all I'm sorry for losing your wife. Married again or not, that's your full right.

For me, my daughter used to talk a lot about a mother figure and in the end I realized that I might have been selfish all this time because I didn't think that my daughter was in need of a mother figure.

Therefore, if you are not ready to remarry, you should not be forced to marry. Even though your daughter really wants to have a mother figure in her life, this needs to be balanced with your heart that really wants it, so that when going through the household it doesn't burden you because it's not just for your daughter , but also because you want it.

Read Also: My wife's good intentions seem to be used by my ex-wife

It's unfair to your future wife if your goal of remarrying is just because of your daughter. Therefore, you may need to consider many things about your daughter's wishes.

The key is only one, if your daughter's happiness is your priority, there is nothing wrong with trying to open your heart to find or accept another woman in your heart.

It's just that if there is a desire to find a stepmother, you have to be more selective because your daughter is looking for a mother figure.


Find a woman who can truly love your daughter, with her loving your daughter, of course she will love you but if she only loves you not necessarily she will love your daughter. And keep trying to give the best and seek healing for your daughter.

This is my personal opinion about the story that a man told me which I titled: Don't want to remarry but children need a mother.