Mens Talk

Tuesday, July 13, 2021

I want to be able to love my wife like before


I want to be able to love my wife like before

This time the story of the man who appeared with the title I want to be able to love my wife like before.


The story is, at this time I 'broke up' with my other lover, if it is called breaking up, I don't think it can be said like that, because both she and I have no commitment and only understand each other.

In this situation I am truly heartbroken like someone who has fallen in love. And my wife faithfully accompanies, listens to my outpouring about it, even though I know my wife's heart is very hurt.

My other lover and I also broke up because of the contribution of my wife who fought to end my relationship with my other lover. I don't know why even though my wife is as great as that I still can't love my wife like at the beginning of our marriage.

So the story is at the end of 2018, I had a close relationship with a co-worker at the office because of the demands of my job at that time, then my co-workers and I were almost always together.

Incidentally, my relationship with my wife that year was not harmonious. And my co-workers are present in the office with all the charm, very frequent interactions, finally in my heart the seeds of love for my co-workers, sprout in my heart.

Over time my relationship with my wife gradually became more harmonious, we still lived in the same house, but the love for my wife faded.

I'm even more enthusiastic about the office because it's more fun there and I really want to reach the need to be appreciated, give love and need to be accepted.

My co-workers and I were never around commitment, never expressed affection for each other, never knew each other's true hearts.

But from the interactions that I can read, my co-workers and I strengthen each other, protect each other and are very compact interactions than just co-workers.

Sometimes I also wonder if I am too confident. Then there's the feeling that I'm actually against this thing called falling in love because I really don't like this thing called infidelity and maintain the line between wanting more and not wanting more, because my co-workers also have husbands but are far apart.

My co-workers and I went through 2019 lovingly, although never revealing anything, I was still able to keep my boundaries.

Sending a message in the middle of the night when I'm beside my wife, my wife doesn't suspect anything because she thinks it must be just a work matter, and indeed most of what is discussed in the message inbox is words about work.

Until early 2020, my co-workers and I might have started to realize this was a mistake and then I started to withdraw, plus because of the corona virus and work-at-home programs, my meetings with co-workers became less and less frequent. But maybe because it's so close, it's really hard to let go at all.

Back in August that time, actually I had tried to separate myself by choosing a job completely different from my coworker's, to reduce interaction with her, but that feeling never really died, my longing might be deeper.

My relationship with my wife is a little better, she's changed more although I remain indifferent, until in between our conversations she asks: did you have an affair with your co-worker? then jokingly I answered: Yes, with my close friend on that one.

That night my wife checked my cellphone which I never locked, at first it was normal until she read my chat messages and my co-workers in 2019 which although there were no romantic words, the contents of the chat described how much I love my co-workers more than my wife.

At the same time, obviously my wife was devastated, then she and I fought, then reconciled, then fought again, but my wife was still able to think logically not to stay away from me.

My wife and I's confusion then led her to decide to meet my co-worker, not to fight, but to find out who had filled my heart as her husband.

I worry if there is a fight there but my wife can be mature and understand my coworker and embrace but still advise if my coworker is still in the wrong position.

And miraculously my co-worker could understand, even though I knew she was the kind of person who likes to go against someone's opinion. And finally she committed to stay away from me.

My heart suddenly felt relieved, suddenly empty, it felt like the people who had long decorated my days just disappeared, my cell phone number was immediately blocked by my co-workers, there was a kind of heartbreak even though I knew it was the right way and should happen and the way best of course.

In this strange situation, my wife now always accompanies my days, listening to me vent in my broken heart, including reminiscing about the beautiful year 2019 with my co-workers, which turns out my wife only found out after she read the chat on my cellphone, including my complaint now that I feel lonely in the office.

My wife sincerely began to improve herself, then her appearance and attitude towards me. But somehow I can't love my wife 100 percent yet, like a kind of void in my heart that was once filled by my co-worker.

I am grateful to be saved from a bigger mistake but I am also confused why my heart is so hard to love my wife again, even though my wife is better and prettier too.

I'm confused Admin, I need tips so I can love my wife again who is warm and sincere like before.

Admin Opinion

Hello my friend, what you are feeling may be a heartbreak phase even though your feelings are out of place because you and your co-workers are both married.

Healing a broken heart can't be instant, but pain can be minimized by trying to accept the situation and trying to realize that your thoughts that always remember your co-workers are wrong thoughts, because right now your obligation is to keep your home life in good condition and harmony, while your co-workers are not part of your responsibilities.

Then to divert your mind about your co-workers, maybe you can start from reminiscing about moments with your wife in the past, remembering the process of how difficult it was to convince your wife until your wife accepted you as her husband and convinced your wife's parents that you deserve to be son-in-law.

Read Also: My Wife Asks For Divorce Because Of Jealousy

You may also need to remember often all the sacrifices and contributions your wife made during her time as your wife. By remembering all the good things that are in your wife, maybe slowly feelings of love can grow back in your heart. Another effort, it could not hurt you to spend more time to spend quality time with your wife.


Meanwhile, during the current pandemic, quality time can be done at home, such as doing activities together to foster a sense of mutual need, filling each other and bringing each other closer, with the hope that all these efforts can divert all your thoughts about your co-workers, so slowly You can focus on your wife and home life.

You have to understand that your wife is definitely hurting a lot right now, and it would be better if you also try to treat your wife's wounds instead of just focusing on your wounds from being separated from your co-workers.

You need to apologize more often and give your wife more attention than ever before so she understands that she is still very precious to you and that you still want her.

This is my personal opinion about the story a man told me which I titled: I want to be able to love my wife like before.