Mens Talk

Thursday, July 8, 2021

My wife apologized and started to change but there is already another woman in my heart


My wife apologized and started to change but there is already another woman in my heart

This time the story of the man who appeared with the title My wife apologized and started to change but there is already another woman in my heart.


Hello admin, please share my story, I need input from readers. My wife and I got married in September 2019, having previously found out that my wife was pregnant in June 2019.

Honestly before I knew my wife was pregnant, and we were still not married. I was about to break up with her because I caught my wife chatting with her ex, and when she found out she was chatting with her ex she was furious with me for checking her cell phone without permission.

But because she was already pregnant with my child, I tried to be patient and honestly there was a lot of pressure from people around me such as my wife's parents at that time to end the pregnancy, but I was never willing to have my child aborted even though he was still 1 month. Finally we decided to get married.

During wedding preparations, many things I hated my wife, because she wanted to make a big party while my family wanted a simple party, because the most important thing was preparation for the future not just a short wedding.

My family and I got into a big fight and commotion because I was trying to fulfill my wife's wish at that time who wanted a lavish party. But in the end my wife gave up so that the wedding was not too luxurious.

In the early days - 3 years of marriage, her nature and attitude towards me was very bad and she did not respect me as her husband.

Many things she did that made me want to part with her, but I held on for the sake of my son. Some examples of the big mistakes she made were when there was an event at my office, she forced me to come with our child while our son was not even 1 year old where the event started at 8 pm. At office events no one brought any family members, and finally I was reprimanded by my boss.

It didn't stop there, then at my office event, there was a fashion show. Then I joked with my wife, I said "Wow, if I knew there was a fashion show like this, I wouldn't have invited you".

At that time I was slapped very hard by my wife, until my cheeks were hot and red from the slap of her finger.

Okay, if she does that in front of people I don't even know, that's never justified either, it's in front of my co-workers and my boss sees this too. I felt very ashamed and lost my very high self-esteem for the event. And I have never been rude let alone hit a woman.

In addition, my wife's rude attitude also made me angry when she was very cruel to my child. Even my wife slapped my child who is not yet 1 year old and was slapped many times, and she always said that she didn't want our child. I was so sad to hear that, even thinking of leaving my wife to go with my child.

Indeed, after 1 year of marriage I became quite rude to my wife, it was all because I wanted to take revenge for all the harsh treatment I received from the start of our relationship.

During my marriage, I tried many times to advise my wife to change in many ways, such as being more respectful of her husband i.e., not being rude to me as husband but my wife never wanted to change.

In fact what made me very emotional was that once we had a fight a few months ago, and during that fight she even brought up her and my parents' names, even though when it was noisy I never brought her parents unless she started it first.

During the past few months when we were arguing, she insulted my father who died last year. I had reprimanded her and I said "don't take my parents' names let alone my dead father" but still she continued regardless of my feelings as her husband.

The 2 times I yelled at my wife in public, it was because she didn't want to hear what I had to say.

Long story short, last May I went on a business trip out of town. In the end we had a fight, because of a small problem where my wife's wishes were opposed, even though I used my own money and also I never asked my wife for money.

At that time my wife said that I was an ignorant and brainless person. But as long as we are married, I always guarantee the family finances. I even gave her a decent allowance, on top of household expenses.

Finally in this chaotic time I met a woman, let's call her Jane. We chatted, and finally decided to meet up when I returned to my hometown.

And when I met Jane, I was like meeting an angel who has a beautiful face, smells good, and most importantly, she has a very good attitude, her way of speaking is very soft. I don't think that being beautiful is that important, because honestly right now if I wanted to, I could get a woman prettier than Jane.

But honestly, I fell in love with her personality. So, I started to compare with my wife. Jane respects me, and is like heaven and hell compared to my wife. And Jane is such a good person in every way that I don't see any flaws in Jane.

Until I played at Jane's house a few times, but there was always her older sister and Jane and I didn't do much. Well, because I played at Jane's house several times, my wife finally found out that I had another woman. I'm not trying to deny it even I admit it, because I've been very upset with my married life.

In fact I also confessed to my wife that I have been to a nightclub and often had contact with other women there many times because I was not happy in my marriage, was bored and most importantly because I wanted revenge because she had an affair before marriage.

After my wife found out I was cheating on her, she immediately started crying, so I was sad because I thought we were going to separate. But I decided to meet Jane. Little information that Jane didn't know that I already had a wife until I finally told Jane that I did, but I was ready to leave my wife because of my wife's bad attitude towards me.

And indeed before meeting Jane, I had said many times that I wanted to separate from my wife because of her behavior, but my wife never took it seriously and was always belittled, until my wife found out that I did have another woman.

I finally got up the courage and told Jane that I already had a wife, and Jane was devastated because to be honest Jane and I had talked a lot about far-reaching things for the future together, and I was serious about doing it.

I even once joked and asked Jane: "If I were a widower, would you want to treat my child like your own?" And Jane said no problem.

But because Jane was so kind, she decided to keep me out of her life and asked me to improve my relationship with my wife. Even though she felt hurt, she left because she loved me.

Now even after being caught cheating, my wife comes begging even on her knees to stick with me and promise to change all bad habits.

In my heart I said: "Where have you been all this time, I often gave advice but never listened, and only when I wanted to go did she say she wanted to change."

I'm still very heavy myself, because I think about my child if I divorce my wife, but I also love Jane very much and don't want to lose her.

Meanwhile, my wife is also starting to show a change in her character to a better path. I'm a little angry with my wife because I think for the sake of her ego that doesn't want to part with me, and because of that I also have to lose the people I love.

Reading by listening


After 3 years of marriage, this is my first time falling in love with another woman. I really look forward to input from all readers, thank you.

Admin opinion

Welcome, I understand your feelings have been hurt because of your wife's behavior. However, everyone makes mistakes.

The only difference is the misstep rate (big or small) and the type of misstep itself. However, as with any mistakes that have been made, everyone deserves to be given a chance if the person really realizes her mistake and wants to try to improve herself.

Therefore, if you want to give your wife a chance and you still want to keep your marriage, of course you should really be able to end your relationship with your other lover and forget about it.

You start again building a harmonious marriage relationship and always guide your wife so that your wife is consistent with the changes. From your side of course you need to show or prove changes for the better (both improve themselves).

However, if the reason you're keeping your marriage is because of your children, not because you want to completely repair your marital relationship, it can be difficult to find warmth in married life like a normal home.

Read Also: My Wife Asks For Divorce Because Of Jealousy

On the other hand, your child may feel that their parents are different (no more warmth). This will most likely affect your child's growth and development.

The point is, if you want to maintain a marriage, keep it because you really want to, not because of the child's reasons, because of the child's need to be happy and grow up in harmonious parenting conditions, not only the parents are intact but there is harmony in it.

This is my personal opinion about the story a man told me which I titled: My wife apologized and started to change but there is already another woman in my heart.