Mens Talk

Sunday, August 8, 2021

How to Advise People and Get Them to Act

How to Advise People and Get Them to Act

This time in the Talk category session I will discuss about How to Advise People and Get Them to Act.

There are a number of tactics you can use to get people to tell you how to get them to listen to you. If you had a great idea and wanted people to listen to you, what would you do?

It's easy, you just tell other people about your great idea in the hope that people will listen to you. But what should you do if it turns out that other people won't listen to you? Of course this will excite you.

How to Advise People and Get Them to Act

There are three main factors that you should put into practice so that anyone will listen to what you have to say. The three main factors that are strong and can influence are (1) emotion, (2) Direction, and (3) consequences. Here I will discuss it in detail and in full.


First of all, you need to pay attention to how good your idea is, if you don't fill it with something that can evoke their emotions then it will be very difficult for you to get people to move in your favor.

Because based on research, each of us always make decisions based on emotional factors. Only then will you use logic to justify your decision.

How to Advise People and Get Them to Act

Let's take an example, buying a car. Did you buy a car for logical reasons or for emotional reasons first? Of course the first for emotional reasons.

At first you thought having a car was fun because you could easily go anywhere, no need to walk. There is an emotional factor that you feel first. It is not like that?

Then, you compare between brand A and brand B? And since you know in advance that your parents always used brand A cars, you want to buy a brand A car.

Another example, if you have a strong emotional connection with your friends who mostly use brand B cars, you will decide to buy a brand B car.

In other words, you want to feel different, so you will search for and survey the latest C car brands. After that, you decide to buy it because you want to be different and be admired by others.

Of all the decisions, it is true that you always make the more important decisions because of emotional factors. Only then will you use logical reasons to justify your decision.

If someone else asked why you bought a brand A car, you would say that in terms of performance, a brand A car works just as well as a brand B car, but a brand A car has a better resale price.

On another occasion, if your parents ask why you bought a brand B car, then logically you will answer that a brand B car is cheaper to maintain. And so on like that, you prioritize your emotions first in making decisions and then you look for logical reasons.

Therefore, arouse other people's emotions when you give advice to him. Of course, these emotions are emotions that can generate motivation for them to want to act. The emotion in question is of course positive emotions, happy, like, proud, etc.


Next, you must provide clear directions so that others will listen to your suggestions. Psychological research shows that in addition to evoking strong emotions, you also need to provide other people with clear directions or maps to accept your suggestions.

How to Advise People and Get Them to Act

For example, you want your friend to be more diligent in exercising, you can give directions on what he can start to work out immediately. Thus, you are not only advising your friends to be diligent in exercising. You also give them clear directions on how to start an easy exercise that they can start right away.

So you evoke emotions how healthy living is fun. After that, you also provide clear instructions on how they can get started. Show them a destination then give them a map to get to that destination.


Consequence means you give them what they can or what they can avoid from doing your advice. Various studies have shown that if you add the consequences of avoiding something negative then they will be more willing to listen to you.

In other words, include negative consequences if others won't listen and accept your advice. For example, going back to the example above, you want your friend to work out a lot.

After you have aroused the emotions of why he should exercise diligently, how to get directions to start exercising diligently, you must give him the motivation why he should be diligent in exercising.

How to Advise People and Get Them to Act

When you say that he must be diligent in exercising to keep his body healthy, this is usually less effective. However, if it is said that he must be diligent in exercising so as not to get sick easily which if he is sick it costs a lot of money. These consequences are usually more effective.

Why is that? The reason is that people are usually quick to act to avoid losing what they have now rather than looking for what they haven't got.

This is a much stronger motivation to get someone to listen to your advice. Therefore, you focus on what they can avoid and survive loss (i.e. illness, money, effort, etc.) rather than what they will gain from listening to your advice.

Additional Psychological Factors

A tactic to build emotions, provide a map or direction, and explain the consequences, you can add the following psychological factors to make people more willing to listen to your advice:

People tend to respond better to solutions if they believe that this was a plan that came from them. Try to remind someone that he or she was the one who gave you your idea or suggestion.

Also, let them know that this new way of thinking is completely consistent with their beliefs and thinking. If they feel there is no deviation from what they believe, they are usually more willing to listen to you.

Try not to be arrogant with your suggestions. Nothing is perfect. In other words, you start by saying: “There are things I think I know and there are things I know I don't know. And this is something I know I know." Most importantly, remember that enthusiasm is contagious.

The more passionate you are about what you have to say, the more excited they will be about your ideas and suggestions. Therefore, the best approach is to let them know as well that they have the final say on what they will end up doing which he ends up doing.

Overcoming Objections

Alright, let's move on a bit to the question of what if the person you're talking to remains closed-minded to what you're saying, aka stubborn and always objecting to making changes.

There are some advanced tactics you can practice, but before that, here are some reasons why people find it difficult to take other people's advice:

  • Their experience of doing something new really makes things worse. They are people who have the motto Change Is Bad.
  • They only have a problem with you. No matter how much you give persuasive advice, they won't hear you.
  • They may be people you don't have a problem with, but just feel like they've been taken advantage of by someone else. In their mind, they better not hear you.
  • Finally, they are people whose whole idea of ​​life or self-concept doesn't fit with it. Whatever people's ideas because of the self-concept they hold, still can't make them change.

The 4th reason is obvious, you still can't change them to accept your suggestion because their self-concept is different from yours. However, if you believe someone's rejection was due to factors 1, 2, and 3, then you can try the following 2 tactics:

  • First Tactic

Ask other people's opinion first about how they think of an idea according to their attitudes, beliefs, and actions.

For example, if you want your boss to listen to you about a new idea, you could say, “Do you think it's good to be open-minded to other ideas?

Of course it all depends on the situation, you can ask more specific questions to create internal consistency within someone to accept your idea.

  • Second Tactic

Limit, in some way, or in part, his ability to do what he does not want to do. Absolutely correct. When a person is stubborn, it is because he knows he can do something but chooses not to do it.

If choices are always open to us, our urge to act is not so strong. But once something becomes limited—whether we really want it or not—we become more attracted to it.

Now let's continue with an example. Suppose the idea you want to convey to your boss is that the office should host a company-sponsored picnic.

You think that your boss might be against the idea so you start with the first tactic, such as, "How important do you think team spirit is to company performance?"

From there, you can move on to the second tactic, where you say something like, “I'm sure coworkers would love to go out, but I don't think we can determine what we can do to get permission.

Something like that, you ask their opinion first about their attitude and then you ask them for advice on how to make the idea work. Well, this should all be done along with the following 6 tips, although you don't need to practice all of them:

6 Powerful Tips

  • Make Them Move or Reposition

If he sits down, ask him to get up and go for a walk. If he is standing, try to get him to sit down. This will change the physiology of the body. A person's emotional state is directly related to his physical condition so try his moves.

  • Provide additional information

Sometimes with the tactic of providing new or additional information, people can change their decision. Because psychologically, they do not want to be considered firm with their decisions, but with additional information or new information they can change their decisions.

  • Make sure they can see their expressions

Research shows that when you can look at yourself, you are usually more aware of who you are and therefore you can be wiser.

Try it if you don't believe it, try to convince the person you are recommending to be in a position where they can see for themselves. Usually they are more persuasive.

Well, this tactic is usually done in places of customer service. Some companies already know this tactic, so they will put up a big mirror in front of customer service so that any complaints they can handle properly.

When you come with a complaint, you will convey your complaint in a wise manner because you look at yourself in the mirror and you become wiser because of it.

  • Reciprocal persuasion

Something reciprocal usually always goes perfectly. Of course, reciprocity refers to ways that benefit you and those you care about.

When you give advice, you are not only giving advice, but you are also stating that you need advice from the person you are giving advice to.

In this case, you are trying to get them to accept your advice and also claim that you are not perfect.

Example: “Good morning, I was thinking about what you said about your suggestions for improving team performance and I totally agree with you. What do you think if we do a comparative study?” Usually with a statement like this there will be positive feedback.

  • Two-sided argument

Try to give your opinion and try to be willing to listen and explore their reasons. You have to be on both sides for them to see you as someone who is willing to take their opinion into account as well.

This way, you'll find that he can be more lenient in his thinking and willing to listen to your ideas, thoughts, and suggestions.

  • Create Their Idea

Lastly, let them think that these are all their ideas and ideas. In this way, you make them more accountable to themselves and receptive to your persuasion.

How to Get Them into Action

Okay, say they have listened to your advice, how do you get them to take action? For that, you can do the following 5 formulas so that people are motivated to act immediately:

  • Limit Options

Again, you should provide clear directions with limited options as a way of advising people about an idea or ideas. In this way, the person will not hesitate in taking action.

  • Give Time Limit

If you want the person you are advising to take immediate action based on your suggestion, then you should also give them a time limit for the person to move immediately. In addition, your advice does not require immediate action from the person you are advising.

  • Start with small Actions

You can advise others and get them to take action by taking light action first. Because small actions will keep your loved ones moving. In principle, something that has been started will usually continue without any significant resistance.

  • Show by example

People will take action when they see for themselves that you are doing what you suggest to others. Therefore, show that you have also done what you are advised not just talk without belief. This is how to give good advice to people.

  • Incentive

Of course, incentives to some extent can be a way to get people to take action.


What's up guys? Are you getting confused? It means you are learning how to give advice to other people so they will listen to you.

That's my discussion this time about How to Advise People and Get Them to Act.